Who Are You?

I did an hour of meditation today. At one point I started seeing buddhas meditating in the stones and the flowers. I felt really lucid man. I didn’t get attached to the patterns and images I saw, hallucinations I guess, probably best not to get distracted by them, I’m not sure what they were, just watched them without thinking and felt this calmness inside.
When I got up I noticed a butterfly sitting next to me and it flew away. The corvids and seagulls were gliding about in the breeze having a great time. They are normally at war with each other, but today they just shared the sky and it was great watching them glide together.
I felt sorry for Chack Chack not being able to join them. I wondered if maybe I did the wrong thing and should have let the vet put her down, perhaps it was mean of me keeping her alive knowing she wouldn’t be able to fly again. Chack Chack looked at me and I got a feeling that if she wanted to die she would just stop eating or would let the cats get her; and I don’t know if she was talking to me in a wordless way or not, but I got a sense that she wanted to be alive even though she can’t fly. (It might be my ego self playing tricks on me I don’t know.)
I’m deliberately avoiding the news, caught a bit of it this morning.  I’m tired of conspiracy theories. I feel the best thing I can do to help the world, is to walk the path. Free my mind of this madness. I can’t do much about healing the insanity of other human beings until I have cured the insanity in myself. It’s the same insanity we all share, this egoic self that constantly talks to itself. This whole world of man is crazy.
Adverts and movies are constantly trying to show us what is missing in our lives, yet when we get those things we still feel empty, and ironically this is why consumerism works so well, we keep chasing after stuff we desire and think we need and the wheel keeps on turning but never getting anywhere. 
We’ve lost touch with our true nature. Our real self isn’t the ego that we are conditioned to believe is who we are. We aren’t our thoughts. Meditation is a tool that helps you remember, helps you let go of the ego and be free.

Sunday 31/07/2016

Haven’t written anything on here for a while. Been in and out of a depressive haze and learning more about meditation. I read through some of my earlier stuff, the narcissistic urge to do that is always a bad idea; some of it is pretty awful and some of it is wrong about a lot of stuff. I’ve learnt a lot more about what’s really going on in the world since then. I’ll not delete it though, will just leave it and move on. It is never a good idea to look at stuff you’ve done in the past, it just sends you even further into depression and introspection, which isn’t helpful.

My meditation is progressing and I can do roughly 30 – 45 minutes a day now, depending on how I feel. Although it is still hard to keep my attention focused, I can do it for longer and I have got much better at bringing that calm and balanced state of mind into my everyday life. I still get angry and frustrated about stuff, still get anxious, it’s part of being human to feel like that, even Zen masters get angry and afraid; but the meditation is making it easier to be aware of how I am feeling and to let go of the negative stuff that isn’t much help to anyone.

I have a corvid friend at the moment. A fledgling we found abandoned on the side of the road that looked almost dead and had flies buzzing all over it. We took her home and found out she had a broken wing. She quickly started to make a recovery. Within a few days she was hopping about and sitting on my shoulder. I never knew corvids were such lovely animals. My body clock has changed as well, she gets up early every morning, so I have to go to bed early in order not to be too knackered to cope the next day.

Yeah the world is a crazy place just now and the future don’t look too golden, but I’ll leave my thoughts on that for today; maybe come back to it another time when the various different thoughts and opinions whirling about my head have had time to settle, and I know what it is I want to say.

That’ll do for now.. off to sit in the garden with my corvid friend and do some meditation.

me and chack chack


One thing that my thinking loops get fixated on is this idea you have to be worthy to feel peace, that you have to achieve it by reaching some goal, or going on a journey.

It is not true. It’s already there within us. To feel it we have to let go, stop thinking so much and getting caught up in our loops and spirals. You don’t have to jump through any hoops; or achieve anything in this life to find peace.

Just let go man, be and feel the peace that comes from being in the presence of your true self and not the illusory one created by thinking too much.


Come to the conclusion most people are stupid. Is the stupidity their fault? I don’t think so, I think it comes from being forced to conform in an authoritarian education system & being tricked into believing what they read in the newspapers & watch on the telly is fact. People are encouraged not to think for themselves.

Not everyone is like this, but it does seem the majority of the population are this way. They are like zombies repeating the opinions and spin of the media, unable anymore to think for themselves. I wonder how many now will live in fear of thinking for themselves, because they don’t want to be labelled extremists or terrorist sympathizers. Are we about to live in a paranoid era where neighbours, employers, jobsworths spy on one another & report people who they think might be extremists.

In the near future our homes will be full of new interconnected smart appliances able to spy on us, even in our most private moments & the government will be collecting all this data. The CIA recently bragged about how in the future they will be able to spy on people through their dishwashers. Corporations want our personal information cause it’s profitable. Governments want our data for the same reason and also to spy on us and possibly use this surveillance to suppress free speech and weed out those they think might cause them problems.

Our data has become the new gold rush & businesses are making lots of money out of sharing our private details. It kind of annoys me, A: because I don’t like feeling like I’m being spied on when I’ve done nothing wrong & B: if businesses are making money out of my data, they should damn well give me some of it, the cheeky sods.

I am worried about the future, it feels like we are being ushered into a tyrranical global agenda. I don’t like it, and  a government with a prime minister who calls those who don’t share his views terrorist sympathizers gives me the creeps.

It really feels like we are sleepwalking towards the society depicted in  George Orwell’s ‘1984’

Not much I can do about it, I hope something will throw a spanner in their works, something unexpected that upsets their applecart.

I hope they don’t get away with it.

Some Thoughts on The Book of Revelation

revelationHere’s some religious thoughts I had just now after meditating a little. I was thinking about the book of revelation and some bits suddenly started to make a tiny bit of sense to me, I know most people hate religion which is fair enough, just skip the following blurb if you are one of those people:

I believe that the Beast of revelation could be unfettered capitalism. The number of the beast, is the number of man, mankind is symbolized by a six pointed star in the kabbala I think. It isn’t a specific person, it is mankind in general. So the beast is a creation of man. Capitalism is a system created by man; and it is losing all it’s regulations now, the red tape and important checks and balances that stop greed going out of control are set to be removed by the new trans Atlantic trade deals. With these deals, corporations will have power over our governments, nations will lose their sovereignty due to the investor state dispute mechanism in all these trade deals. This will mean big corporations will basically be able to do what they like to us and the planet. These transnational trade deals are basically rubber stamping this corporate takeover. The EU one is called TTIP. Governments for a long time have basically had their strings pulled by corporations, but these new trade deals will make this official.

I believe the mark of the Beast is this:

The mark on the forehead symbolizes your thoughts, your mind. The mark on your right hand symbolizes the work that you do, your actions.

Do you think good or evil thoughts or have good or evil intentions? Do you do good or evil works?

Therefore at some point in the future according to the book of revelation there will be a time when no one will be able to buy or sell unless they have the mark of the beast. Basically if you want to eat, you will have to do evil to survive, you will have to agree to evil laws and obey them. It isn’t a physical mark, it won’t be any microchip or implant, I believe it is symbolic, a metaphor. (I could be wrong, this is just me speculating on the meaning, however it does say somewhere that nothing that goes into a man will make him impure, it is what comes out of a man which makes him impure, i.e. words and deeds.)

An example might be you are a journalist, you work for a big media corporation. You discover that what you are reporting is a lie to mislead people and stir them into supporting evil acts. So you decide to report the truth; Or you interview a member of the government and ask them a difficult question that catches out their lies.

Later your employer tells you off and tells you never to do that again or you will lose your job & this could mean you never get another job in media. You worry because you have an expensive mortgage or rent to pay, you have a family, to lose your job would mean you struggle to make ends meet. Even though you can see and understand now the evil, you turn a blind eye to it, do not speak out against it and continue to mislead the public and manipulate them.

Imagine if you see a person suffering, but the law forbids you from helping that person, a homeless person for example or a refugee; if you disobey, you may lose your job and as a result of committing a criminal offence you may struggle to gain employment again, you might even be sent to prison. So you do not help that person, you harden your heart to justify your actions to your conscience. The more you do this, the colder and harder your heart becomes, till there comes a point you no longer care about the suffering of others, as long as you’re alright and have money you are fine.

Or some people may not care at all and happily do evil with no conscience or feeling.

You become a part of this evil by not speaking out, by choosing not to help those who are suffering.

If enough people chose not to obey evil laws or rules, the laws would not be enforceable. It is only when we willingly give our consent and surrender our power that these things are allowed to continue. We are manipulated into behaving in a negative way through fear.

Fear divides us, when communities are divided against one another they are weak, they cannot unite and make a stand against the evil in the world. Propaganda tries to trick us into thinking in a certain way & into dividing us and giving our power to the government. A manmade institution controlled by corporations, corporations who worship capitalism, capitalism which when unregulated becomes a terrible Beast driven mad by greed, greed which corrupts and taints and consumes the Earth and tries to gain dominion over it, commits terrible crimes against life.

Either way both types of people have accepted the mark of the Beast & are given many opportunities to repent, to change. They are given an opportunity to repent and change when they see that what they are doing is evil. Repeatedly refusing to change makes you grow cold and hard inside, till eventually you are lost and only the painful burning away of all those layers will free your soul from the cold hard shell it has constructed around it. Like one of those seeds that will only germinate and sprout once it’s outer layer has been burnt through fire.

I think the wrath of God, the seven seals, is symbolic of us reaping what we sow. All the damage and destruction we have wrought on the earth. All our pollution will come back at us. Whether it is through terrible earthquakes, floods, through industrial poisoning of the drinking water, there could be sickness and disease brought on by our pollution. Drought causing crops to fail, great storms causing crops to fail and causing damage to our infrastructure, deforestation, degradation of the soil, these terrible things are brought about by our greed which causes pollution, which poisons the earth, sky, rivers and oceans and causes climate change and a mass extinction event. These things are all caused by the actions of man, not God. The seven bowls of wrath are symbolic of the destruction we bring upon ourselves, it is the consequences of our actions.

Not too sure about the rest, the parts about war are pretty obvious to most people I think. When you read it, you have to understand the symbolism, it isn’t meant to be taken literally, it is a metaphor.

Just my thoughts on this anyway, I could be totally wrong…

seven trumpets

The Darkness and The Light

yin-yangWhen the French politicians announced today they plan to keep armed police on the streets, to give them the power to enter anyone’s house and search it without a warrant, the power to place anyone they want to under house arrest and impose curfews on them without the need to seek judicial authority. The power to take down any website they feel the need to, at any time. It confirmed in me what I have been seeing this all lead to.

They want every country to be like this. They want us all to be manipulated and programmed into accepting this. That’s why they are insisting the French national anthem be sung at every premier league football match, to programme the people to prepare for a coming police state they’ve been planning and gradually introducing for a long time now. The French ministers say it will be for three months, however many people are concerned once implemented it will never end, people are concerned France will become a permanent police state. If it is seen as successful in France it will be implemented here too. They will manipulate us with their stories of fear, to sheepishly hand over our freedom to them.

The darkness will cloud everything. All minds and hearts will be tested. Fear will affect us all & test our inner strength & resolve.

For example if it becomes illegal to give food or money to a homeless person, what do you do? Do you break the law even if it is in front of armed police, or if there is a risk you will be found out by the mass surveillance. Do you show compassion to that human being or do you close your heart out of fear of punishment from the state?

These are the sorts of dilemmas people will be faced with in the coming age. Do you protect a friend? And in so doing risk punishment yourself for doing so. Do you stop listening to your heart, shut your mind to the voice of your conscience and do the evil the state asks of you in order to survive?

Will you speak out against evil or will you stay silent out of fear?

Things are getting really dark. When TTIP is pushed through, corporations will descend on our nations like vultures on a corpse and exploit them for all they are worth. Corporations will come first and ISDS will pull the strings of our governments. They are in truth already pulling the strings of our governments; TTIP will rubber stamp it and make it official, make it law.

Our environment and our homes will no longer be protected, we will lose our human rights. They will rape the earth without mercy, and the beast of capitalism will rise unfettered. Greed will have no end, no bounds, there will be no lengths it won’t go to in it’s depravity. There may come a time when people will no longer have the right to grow their own food or collect rainwater.

I believe people must not let the darkness consume them, they must not surrender to it and ally themselves with it. It may take great courage for many to stand up to this beast; but if your heart tells you to show compassion, even if that compassion is against the laws of man, do it. Follow your heart, show kindness, believe in the light even in it’s absence. This madness won’t last, there is always hope, and the light will come again, it will come from all those who stay true to it and this darkness will wither away and die and there will be new growth.

new growth

Stop Giving Psychopaths Publicity

Wish the media would shut up, yeah it was tragic what happened on Friday. However these tragedies are happening all the time around the world. The West has killed millions of innocent civilians with their air strikes.

  The media is doing what ISIS, ISIL or Ice Ice Baby (whatever the f-ck they’re called) wants. All this publicity is just going to encourage more terrorism, that’s exactly what these arseholes do this for, is the media attention.

  Predictably politicians are milking it for all it’s worth fast tracking through parliament their Orwellian/Kafkaesque bills to spy on us. France has more surveillance than we do and they had been watching one of the terrorists since 2010, he had been to a jihadi training camp ffs, the intelligence services knew all this information, but it did f-ck all to stop the attacks in Paris.

  The frickin’ snoopers charter is not going to make any difference to terrorism. It will however make a difference to the public, and their right to privacy and free speech.

  The best thing Britain can do to stop terrorism, & to end the war on terror is to stop following the United States on it’s lunatic neocon crusades. Stop killing millions of innocent people with our bombs. Every bomb we drop creates more jihadists. We need to stop selling weapons to countries like Saudi Arabia; & for crying out loud these news corporations need to stop giving terrorists so much media coverage. It gives these psychopaths publicity and this will encourage them to carry out more attacks; especially after all the intense non stop media attention this attack on Paris has been getting.

  Enough said, rant over, I shall now not talk about this topic anymore, cause I’m sick to bloody death of it.

  I shall not live in fear, or be told what to think by any media outlet, government or terrorist, they’re all as bad as each other in my opinion, I wish they would all just f-ck off.

Back to my music

Peace out 󾁆