Haven’t written anything on here for a while. Been in and out of a depressive haze and learning more about meditation. I read through some of my earlier stuff, the narcissistic urge to do that is always a bad idea; some of it is pretty awful and some of it is wrong about a lot of stuff. I’ve learnt a lot more about what’s really going on in the world since then. I’ll not delete it though, will just leave it and move on. It is never a good idea to look at stuff you’ve done in the past, it just sends you even further into depression and introspection, which isn’t helpful.
My meditation is progressing and I can do roughly 30 – 45 minutes a day now, depending on how I feel. Although it is still hard to keep my attention focused, I can do it for longer and I have got much better at bringing that calm and balanced state of mind into my everyday life. I still get angry and frustrated about stuff, still get anxious, it’s part of being human to feel like that, even Zen masters get angry and afraid; but the meditation is making it easier to be aware of how I am feeling and to let go of the negative stuff that isn’t much help to anyone.
I have a corvid friend at the moment. A fledgling we found abandoned on the side of the road that looked almost dead and had flies buzzing all over it. We took her home and found out she had a broken wing. She quickly started to make a recovery. Within a few days she was hopping about and sitting on my shoulder. I never knew corvids were such lovely animals. My body clock has changed as well, she gets up early every morning, so I have to go to bed early in order not to be too knackered to cope the next day.
Yeah the world is a crazy place just now and the future don’t look too golden, but I’ll leave my thoughts on that for today; maybe come back to it another time when the various different thoughts and opinions whirling about my head have had time to settle, and I know what it is I want to say.
That’ll do for now.. off to sit in the garden with my corvid friend and do some meditation.
When the French politicians announced today they plan to keep armed police on the streets, to give them the power to enter anyone’s house and search it without a warrant, the power to place anyone they want to under house arrest and impose curfews on them without the need to seek judicial authority. The power to take down any website they feel the need to, at any time. It confirmed in me what I have been seeing this all lead to.
They want every country to be like this. They want us all to be manipulated and programmed into accepting this. That’s why they are insisting the French national anthem be sung at every premier league football match, to programme the people to prepare for a coming police state they’ve been planning and gradually introducing for a long time now. The French ministers say it will be for three months, however many people are concerned once implemented it will never end, people are concerned France will become a permanent police state. If it is seen as successful in France it will be implemented here too. They will manipulate us with their stories of fear, to sheepishly hand over our freedom to them.
The darkness will cloud everything. All minds and hearts will be tested. Fear will affect us all & test our inner strength & resolve.
For example if it becomes illegal to give food or money to a homeless person, what do you do? Do you break the law even if it is in front of armed police, or if there is a risk you will be found out by the mass surveillance. Do you show compassion to that human being or do you close your heart out of fear of punishment from the state?
These are the sorts of dilemmas people will be faced with in the coming age. Do you protect a friend? And in so doing risk punishment yourself for doing so. Do you stop listening to your heart, shut your mind to the voice of your conscience and do the evil the state asks of you in order to survive?
Will you speak out against evil or will you stay silent out of fear?
Things are getting really dark. When TTIP is pushed through, corporations will descend on our nations like vultures on a corpse and exploit them for all they are worth. Corporations will come first and ISDS will pull the strings of our governments. They are in truth already pulling the strings of our governments; TTIP will rubber stamp it and make it official, make it law.
Our environment and our homes will no longer be protected, we will lose our human rights. They will rape the earth without mercy, and the beast of capitalism will rise unfettered. Greed will have no end, no bounds, there will be no lengths it won’t go to in it’s depravity. There may come a time when people will no longer have the right to grow their own food or collect rainwater.
I believe people must not let the darkness consume them, they must not surrender to it and ally themselves with it. It may take great courage for many to stand up to this beast; but if your heart tells you to show compassion, even if that compassion is against the laws of man, do it. Follow your heart, show kindness, believe in the light even in it’s absence. This madness won’t last, there is always hope, and the light will come again, it will come from all those who stay true to it and this darkness will wither away and die and there will be new growth.
This planet is unique, the universe may well be teeming with life, but the life on this planet is unique to this planet. What we have here on earth is special, but we are too caught up in childish wars, advertising and greed to really appreciate and notice the wonder of the natural world around us, that we are standing on a planet in a massive universe, within this vacuum of space, cosmic radiation, meteorites, asteroids, we are on this planet with just a thin vulnerable atmosphere and the Earth’s magnetic field to protect us; and there is so much life on it, this planet has so much life on it everywhere. That is our heritage, that is the real treasure.
Not sure what I am, I’m neither a theist or an atheist. There’s a lot of stuff in this universe that is a mystery to us. We base everything on a tiny fraction of the light we observe.
I don’t know if any of this is real.
Quantum mechanics is fascinating stuff. Recently learned our sense of smell uses quantum mechanics, and I’m still trying to get my head round how that works.
There’s lots of mysteries out there, we are only really looking at a tiny part of the universe; in the tiny part we look at, a lot of stuff happens that can’t be explained.
Who knows if there’s a God or not. We have no evidence either way. All we have is faith, whether it’s faith in science or faith in something supernatural.
If there is a God, then one question is, where did God come from?
If there is no God, then where did quarks come from?
If both answers are the same, that they just are, & they’ve always existed & nothing created them, then that isn’t a satisfying answer to either question imo.
At the end of the day it doesn’t matter what you believe, as long as you don’t force your beliefs onto others and try to make them conform to your way of thinking.
You don’t have to believe in God to show compassion, empathy or kindness.
The world is a better place when we’re nice to one another, you don’t have to follow a religion to do that.
Seem to be going through a lot of soul searching at the moment. In the wilderness of my mind and life, seeing things from different angles, not really settling, feeling the light and shadows within me dancing. My head and heart is breaking and coming back together again, I write about everything and I write about nothing. I am neither here or there, I don’t know where I am, in some inbetween place where everything I thought I knew is challenged and spat on and laughed at and spun around like something without roots, at the mercy of invisible forces I twist and turn, but cannot see where I am going or where I will stop.