I did an hour of meditation today. At one point I started seeing buddhas meditating in the stones and the flowers. I felt really lucid man. I didn’t get attached to the patterns and images I saw, hallucinations I guess, probably best not to get distracted by them, I’m not sure what they were, just watched them without thinking and felt this calmness inside.
When I got up I noticed a butterfly sitting next to me and it flew away. The corvids and seagulls were gliding about in the breeze having a great time. They are normally at war with each other, but today they just shared the sky and it was great watching them glide together.
I felt sorry for Chack Chack not being able to join them. I wondered if maybe I did the wrong thing and should have let the vet put her down, perhaps it was mean of me keeping her alive knowing she wouldn’t be able to fly again. Chack Chack looked at me and I got a feeling that if she wanted to die she would just stop eating or would let the cats get her; and I don’t know if she was talking to me in a wordless way or not, but I got a sense that she wanted to be alive even though she can’t fly. (It might be my ego self playing tricks on me I don’t know.)
I’m deliberately avoiding the news, caught a bit of it this morning. I’m tired of conspiracy theories. I feel the best thing I can do to help the world, is to walk the path. Free my mind of this madness. I can’t do much about healing the insanity of other human beings until I have cured the insanity in myself. It’s the same insanity we all share, this egoic self that constantly talks to itself. This whole world of man is crazy.
Adverts and movies are constantly trying to show us what is missing in our lives, yet when we get those things we still feel empty, and ironically this is why consumerism works so well, we keep chasing after stuff we desire and think we need and the wheel keeps on turning but never getting anywhere.
We’ve lost touch with our true nature. Our real self isn’t the ego that we are conditioned to believe is who we are. We aren’t our thoughts. Meditation is a tool that helps you remember, helps you let go of the ego and be free.