Inner Wilderness

Seem to be going through a lot of soul searching at the moment. In the wilderness of my mind and life, seeing things from different angles, not really settling, feeling the light and shadows within me dancing. My head and heart is breaking and coming back together again, I write about everything and I write about nothing. I am neither here or there, I don’t know where I am, in some inbetween place where everything I thought I knew is challenged and spat on and laughed at and spun around like something without roots, at the mercy of invisible forces I twist and turn, but cannot see where I am going or where I will stop.


Who I Am

I know I can be a bit of a dick, and I’m not a very interesting person, with a not very interesting life, I’m solitary & I’m socially inept, but that’s just the way I am.
I also get a bit over enthusiastic and intense; and a tad over sensitive. Not very good at making friends, often say stupid shit without thinking. Been like that my whole life and I can’t change it. I try my best man but I don’t seem to be very good with people.
Sometimes you just got to accept who you are and do the best you can with the tools and the plot of land you’ve been given to till.

Is This The End of The World?

It feels like the end of the world. Either that or the world is going completely mad.
All this neverending war. The government and the mental right wing element in the labour party, you know the folk who are convinced the only way to win an election is to be evil like the tories & won’t hear of anything else, well they all plan to vote in favour of attempting to stop the crisis of refugees fleeing bombs, by dropping more bombs on their country.
The government still wants to continue with austerity despite many financial experts warning that we are on the brink of another global recession like the one that happened in 2008.
People who are in poverty are being told there’s no such thing & the disturbing xenophobia on the rise in much of the world is like something out of the 1930s.
Meanwhile we have lost half of all the life in the oceans since the 1970’s, rhinos and elephants are close to extinction because people want to use their ivory because they think it works like viagra.
The rainforest is still being cut down.
The UK government chooses to stop subsidizing renewable clean energy and instead subsidize fossil fuels.
Something like 70% of all seabirds have plastic in their stomach, which is slowly killing them, because it prevents them being able to digest their food and causes malnourishment. Seems almost everything in the ocean is eating our plastic waste, and this is getting past on in the food chain back to humans, so that humans are eating plastic now too.
Fukushima is still spewing it’s radioactive waste water into the Pacific ocean, and after 4 years of this, and not having a clue how to fix the problem. Japan announces it wants to build another nuclear power station; and so does George Osbourne, he wants to get the Chinese to build ours cheaply.
Parts of the world are experiencing brutal drought & storms which is most likely due to climate change. Volkswagon have been decieving the world into thinking their cars were pumping out cleaner emissions when in fact they weren’t and we’ve all been breathing in that crap.
Homelessness is on the rise, and homeless people are becoming the victims of hate crime. They are getting beaten up, urinated on and having their sleeping bags set on fire. In some parts of America it is against the law to give money or food to a homeless person.
The cost of housing is extortionate and so is the cost of a mortgage.
Many people all round the world are starving whilst supermarkets throw away food in padlocked skips that have gone past their shelf date.
Some people have billions of pounds, and decide the best use for all that money is to keep it hidden in a tax haven whilst many parts of the world could benefit from that money, it could be used to help the environment, third world countries, ensure everyone has food, clean water and a shelter without damaging the planet.
People in Beijing have been sitting in a 5 day traffic jam.
It is apparently morally wrong to decline to push a fictional red button that would fire a nuclear missile and kill millions of innocent people, according to many right wing people and some of the media.
Any hopes of nuclear disarmament look to be vanishing like a wisp of smoke; and after 50 years we are all still sitting on enough nuclear weapons to completely obliterate all life on Earth and supply a fireworks display for the Martians.
Our government lifts a ban on neonictinoid pesticides that have been conclusively proven now to kill bees and other beneficial insects. It still has a sinister agenda against badgers and vows to frack the heck out of the UK whether the people like it or not, and to reassure the public of it’s safety, it releases a heavily redacted statement; and just to be sure we have nothing to worry about, the government has been campaigning in the EU to relax fracking safety regulations for the industry.
Unemployed & disabled people are close to starvation and suicide because of benefit sanctions; and working people are close to starvation as well because of low wages, high living costs and now a cut to working tax credit which will leave many over a grand worse off every year.
So yeah lets go bomb Syria, I’m sure it will make everything alright.
I could go on and on, but I expect your tired of listening to me bleating about the problems of the world. I’ve been called a bleeding heart liberal, a dick and a dull person that noone likes because of my views, I’m sure a few more insults won’t hurt.
So is this the end of the world or are we all going completely nuts?