I have not been too great at following the Dharma recently. My speech & my actions have not been a good example of what the path is. A lot of bad stuff keeps happening in the world & I get angry with it & sometimes when I post on forums or social media, that anger comes through in my words & I swear, say childish things & feel an intense dislike for what I perceive as evil in the world.
I then feel a bit guilty later, I think about what I wrote & feel like my words weren’t very edifying or helpful. Just a rant that no one cares for.
It is good to stand up & point out what goes against compassion, if nobody says anything then bad things will continue to happen; but the way I do it, shows I still have a lot to learn. I realize I need to return to the first part of the path & get the hang of Right View before I go racing ahead to Right Speech.
Another Buddhist told me that if you get the hang of the first step: Right View, then the rest of the path becomes clearer; Right View is like a map. If you don’t get the first step right you will keep stumbling, taking wrong turns, & going round in circles.
I also see Right View as a torch or a light source to help you find the way in the dark. Typical of someone in the modern world, addicted to technology & used to instant results, I didn’t spend long enough on the first step of the path, I rushed on ahead with just a tea-light, that was blown out at the first puff of wind.
Nobody is perfect, people shouldn’t beat themselves up if they take a wrong turn, it is something to be grateful for when you see this. Nothing is ever completely negative. If you look at the yin/yang symbol it is not absolute yin or yang. Each side has the seed of the other in it represented by the wee circle. You can always make a positive out of a negative. If you are humble enough & not too proud or egoic, wisdom & insight can be gained from these experiences.
Being humble isn’t false humility for self gain, or putting yourself down & feeling pathetic, that’s just an illusion. Don’t be mad with yourself either if you feel these things, just see these feelings for what they are, realise they are getting in the way & let them go.
Being humble could mean seeing something for what it really is without attaching too much emotion or meaning to it. You acknowledge the truth, accept it, & then see the wisdom in going back to the beginning. If you want to master something, you need to get the hang of the basics & be patient with yourself as you learn.