I watched this video on youtube earlier:
It offers some helpful advice on how to deal with a midlife crisis. Something I feel like I am going through at the moment.
I liked the analogy used in this video. That a midlife crisis is like a second birth.
For the first half of your life you have been focused on trying to be the kind of person you think you want to be. There’s a lot of ego, ambition, the need to be good at something, a desire to be recognized & loved as somebody of worth in the world.
Then you hit the second part of your life & suddenly it’s like you don’t know who you are anymore. All the things you aspired to be & do just don’t seem important. The person you thought you were isn’t who you really are deep down inside.
It’s frightening because everything you thought you knew turns out to mean nothing. It’s like the world around you that you are familiar with just doesn’t have the same effect on you anymore. You feel intensely that something is missing from your life.
You search at first in all the wrong places, you go back to things that helped you cope & feel good about yourself in the past, but now you can no longer find solace in them.
It is a frightening change. You are faced with a stark choice. You either run away from what you’re feeling & hide from your true self by continuing on a superficial level with the status quo; or you let go & allow the change to happen, even though it scares the hell out of you to take this step into the unknown.
Birth isn’t a pleasant experience, it is bloody terrifying. The midlife crisis is like the cocoon a caterpillar spins for itself. In the cocoon the caterpillar completely dissolves & the soup that was once a caterpillar slowly changes into a butterfly.
I feel like everything I thought I knew, thought I was, is becoming like soup & even though I’ve lived on this earth 40 years, I feel like I am now only just discovering who I really am. Things that seemed important to me before, no longer matter.
Where this is going to take me I don’t know. I feel very soulful at the moment, like someone who got off a bus in the middle of nowhere, looked around me & thought what the f#ck?